Moses Lays Down The Law

In which we make the acquaintance of the Lord and his servitor

It had been an arduous walk. The results were proving somewhat shocking.
»What about fornicating?«
»No, no, I'm cool with that. Just work with them when it happens, talk, there's always some reason.«
»OK, OK, but what about sheep buggery, o Lord? There are some in your flock that...«
»...I don't want My words to make mention of sheep buggery, o Moses. It seems beneath the occasion, you know?«
»Right. Right! Idolatry, though! You, those idolaters make me angry!«
»Look, Moses, cool down! Idolatry is fine too, if that helps 'em feel it! Listen, all this with the stealing and coveting and taking vain names, they're all symptoms of problems with your society, and these Commandments of mine are meant to fix those. Just stick to what I told you: No other gods, no killing, lots of honoring others, be nice, rest at least once a week. It's simple, really.«
Sigh. »Yes, O Lord.«
And Moses took off down the slopes of Sinai, face all shining with the glory of the Lord.
Unfortunately, when he came down to camp, some of the others hade made an idol, a pretty hefty golden calf, and, well, Moses had a thing about idolaters.
It was a fine speech, really: all fury and Sheol and fire, and he even invented brimstone right there. For added effect, he hurled the tablets down before him at the end, not recalling he was still on the mountainside and not on the easy, yielding sand. Now the Israelites had never heard anything like it, naturally, and the big CRACK at the end really made an impression. The calf got re-melted in no time.
Moses himself was less happy, in particular about the CRACK bit. He picked the shards of tablet up off the cliffside. He dusted them off. He tried to match them together at the edges. He flipped them over, and tried again from the reverse, even — but no: The tablets were irreparably smashed. And God had already left, no chance there.
»Oh well,« thought Moses. »This'll give me a chance to fix the whole thing a little.«