Got life?

I'll admit it any time: I don't have a life! Sometimes, people encourage me to get one. "Why don't you get a life?", they'll say, in that annoyed, dejected tone of voice used between friends. Oh, like I haven't tried!

Some of you, dear readers, might come from the great land of America. If you do so, you might think "but it's easy! Just buy a life!", but alas, it's not. Not if you live in a socialist country, like I do. Here, the life-market is regulated. Not to get into technicalities, this means that in order to get a life, you must wait in a queue. My mother placed me in a life-queue the very day I was born, and now, almost 20 years later, I'm still only qualifying for some of the shittiest lives.

But it gets worse: in order to qualify for ownership of a life, you must have a life license. One would think that any human being is by birth qualified to operate a life, but nope, not in the bureaucratic nightmare that is Sweden! My application for a life license has currently been processed by the Life Agency for five years. Only three month ago, I got my application returned to me. Apparently, I had forgot to attach two copies of my birth certificate. So I had to do it all over again.

Now you're probably wondering: with all this bureaucracy, how could anyone in Sweden have a life? Well, of course, there's always the cheaters. A lot of people are fortunate enough to be born with lively parents. And if you know someone influential, then it's always possible to skip ahead in the line. Nepotism runs rampant on the swedish life-market. But I'm not bitter. My time will come, sooner or later.

One solution, and one that more and more young people are taking to, is illegal bootleg lives. however, that's not an option to me. To start with, there's no guaranteeing the quality of a bootleg life, and if you get ripped off, there's nowhere you can turn to. Plus, I feel it's kinda immoral. Someone has put a great deal of time and energy into designing these lives we live, and by making pirate copies of them, we take from him the control over his intellectual property.

So i'm just gonna keep waiting, as the papermills turn.