Belle & Sebastian

An Improvised Melody On A Few Stolen Chords

»Fold your hands child, you walk like a peasant.«
Sebastian was fairly sure hand-folding only applied to girls, and moreover, that nobody said peasant ever, but he obeyed anyway. His gramma was stern and sharp-tongued, quick to criticize others and, worse, to praise herself. (Honestly, she could be a right bastard. Not that Sebastian could put it into so many words.) And yet...
»Yes'm.«
»Better, I suppose. But what is that awful shirt?«
She sat like a viper, just waiting to bite at something, anything. But she did give him books, if he didn't displease her too badly. And not just for his birthday, or Christmas! She was wrapped up in books. Sebastian figured maybe that's how you became that way.
»I wish you'd dress properly when you come to visit at least. I see you looking like a slob too often.«
»Dad bought this shirt for me, and Mum picked it out. And I like Kermit! He has a funny voice.« (It sounded a bit like Gramma, he thought. But o, he would never dare to say it.)
»Don't make a nuisance of yourself. Children shouldn't talk back.«
Sometimes he suspected she was trying to wrap him up, too. In the end he didn't really bother, he assumed probably it was worth it, seeing as how Gramma had done it on purpose and seemed to be quite pleased. At any rate he was absolutely certain she didn't approve of him playing with his toy car — he loved Car — or dragging his wheeled dog around behind him, but he didn't really care about that. Mum and Dad just smiled kindly and helped the dog make woofing noises.
»Stop fidgeting boy. Youth is no excuse, you must learn patience young or you shall never have any.«
Sometimes when they thought...no, not that he couldn't hear; they never really bothered to hide...that he didn't care to listen, he supposed — Dad or mostly Mum would tell Gramma that »For God's sakes he's just a child« or »There's nothing wrong with a stuffed dog«. He agreed, but he knew Gramma didn't, she'd answer with something about education in an unpleasant noise. Sebastian thought of cheese graters. (He had once used their grater on the soup ladle. He had wanted to know which was strongest. The sound was very unpleasant. Not even Mum approved.)
»Finally sitting properly! What is it with children now? Like getting blood out of a stone, I swear. Hmf. Well. Listen, I'll tell you...«
Sebastian loved Gramma Belle anyway. She told him stories. She was huge on storytelling, and good at it too. Some of her stories were a bit odd and nonsensical, like the one about that kid Hugo, but the rest were very good. He especially liked the one where Gwydion made a girl from flowers — and the cuckoo one!