Drugs

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

In Case You Were Uncertain

Yet Another Link Post

Rules on smoking, courtesy of Japan.

The Great Competition

Forge Your Life

Hear ye, hear ye, Badgers all and sundry, and hark to my mad plan!
As you may or may not know, November is National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, in some other, unrelated nation. But, I say! this should not stop us from partaking of the rich smorgasbord of doing something gigantic just because someone irrelevant said so. No! Hell no! So here is my suggestion: this year, for NaNoWriMo, we all write our autobiographies.
Only, we fill them with lies. Grand, hideous, bizarre lies! 50,000 words of pure, unadulterated, self-centered balderdash from each and every one of us!
You can put in some tea if you want.

Why Oh Why

Yet Another Quick Link, And Yes, I Am Irreparably Late

Because I simultaneously love and hate you all, here's Green Evening Stories, which is simultaneously splendid and permanently unfinished. Enjoy! Until you reach the end, which is also the middle, and attain the gut-wrenching realization that you're cut off from any more, forever.

One More for the Road

(one more link, that is)

If you were to read a comic about cats in prohibition-era St. Louis, you would prefer said comic to be tastefully sepia-toned, right?

Right.

Well, it matters to me

"Don’t tell us what happened: tell us why it matters."

That's the single most useful writing tip ever. The rest of the article pales in comparison.

Goddammit Incognito, Work!

A tableau at the breakfast table.

“You are clearly mistaken, Madam!” I said. “My name is Charles Therrault, and I’m a trout and salmon salesman from Salem, Massachusetts. I’ve never seen you before in my life.”

“For heaven’s sake,” my mother said, “I just asked you to pass the orange juice.”

Incredibly Relevant Music Review

Artist: Fantômas
Record: Suspended Animation

• Semi-obscure literary reference: check.
• Cd cover in the form of stylish ring bound fold-out wall calendar for the month of April, complete with a hole for the nail: check.
• Pink cd, with flowers and kitten: check.
• The music: not so hot. Better luck next time.

Screw-On Head, For Fuck's Sakes

Oh Yay, Now I'm Just Triple Late Again

Okay, no, look, no, listen, seriously, pay attention goddamnit! Mike Mignola. Mike Mignola!
All right, I'm calm. Yes, Mother, I'm calm. Deep breath. Start from the beginning, don't flip out.
Mike Mignola, creator of Hellboy, artist of those old Lankhmar comics only I seem to know about or want, purported originator of all the cool bits in Disney's Atlantis, in short, all around smashing fellow, has an animated cartoon now. It really looks like moving Mignola art, too, which is amazing to behold. (To me. I'm easily amazed.)

The whole first episode is free for viewing on the Sci-Fi Channel site.

The villain is voiced by David Hyde Pierce, also known as Niles in the show Frasier. The villain. Sounds. Like. Niles. (Incidentally it appears that Pierce also voiced Abe Sapien in the Hellboy movie. Only, the movie Abe Sapien is a total Niles anyway, so nobody noticed.)

So what am I waiting for, you ask? Why am I keeping from you your rightful inheritance of free cartoons, dammit?!? Oh, no reason. Just wanted you to read this whole thing. Plus I'm a bastard.
It's called The Amazing Screw-On Head. Hop to it.

We'll get there in time

This is ground control to Clockmaker. Your weekly post is late!

Other things that are running late:

• The next episode of my oh-so-regularly updated comic.
  
• The remarkably well-planned and organised series of articles I intended to publish on my domain.
  
• The mind-bogglingly clever adventure game I was going to begin work on last year.
  
• A much-needed cleaning spree in the dump I call home. This, too, was to be done last year, and the year before that.
  
• The quiet revolution which will empower me to fix all things wrong with the world.
  
• My Nobel prize. I'm almost starting to think they expect me to do something before I get it.